I laughed, those that knew the aspect of this self from years ago, may remember the sayings I had. I loved clean surfaces and everything had a place to live, I never really understood the messy ones!
What I was doing - you see- was controlling my environment. Controlling what felt was in my reach in the chaos of my world back then.
I would look at my teenage girls room ( way back when) and shake my head as to how it could possibly get to such a state.
Really, I could not understand.
From a young age I cleaned and kept house for my family. I was a little mum, sweeping, vacuuming, ironing, cooking, washing up etc.
When I looked at a room it was like a work of art, colour, pattern, texture. My mum is very creative in her decorating hence always lovely materials to use. Pillows and throws of colour, and so many pictures and ornaments, plants etc. A creatives dream canvas in many ways.
I love my mums house, it truely is like small eclectic still life, or installations everywhere you look. Even in the bathroom (If only I could show you).
My point is, I laughed today at the recognition that, I am free!
Free of any conditioning that I have to be a certain way, any way!
From still life to abstraction and beyond.....
The mess, is my free mind in flow.
No need to control my environment in the ways of the past ‘lower’ mind.
This post is my reflection on the turning upside down of what many have been conditioned to believe. Cleanliness is godliness, idle hands are the ...., our environment mirrors our internal state and the like.
In fact for me it is the opposite! I have such clarity and focus in flow with All around and within me, that I have no want, need or desire to control the physical surrounds in the same way.
The merge is fluid so where one space starts and another ends is of no concern. Allowing myself and the extensions of The Self to Be.
From Doing, too Being.
Even further extension is my present state of Areing.
Doing. Being, too Areing.
In this vibrational state of human-ing is moving as one organism, a discussion for another day.
Today in this moment we ARE not doing or being any thing. NO Thing.
The room is rooming, clothes are clothing, stacks of books are booking. No Thing for me to Do.
No worry, no concerns, no thoughts that I MUST tidy. It is all in homeostasis, and flows as ……
Giggling on the past where I would clean rather than go out or create. Now I create and travel rather than clean! Choice, yet I review my state of mind again, and see there are no fears, no ruminations, no I should’s, and the like. No conditioning that say’s I Have too or I am seen as……..
As I AM regardless of the room! I AM all I place intention and feel into I AM.
My external place, body or environment no longer dictates this.
So I laugh at what the old self would say about this. I giggle that she would no way even have a book on the floor let alone her pile of research.
This is reminding me of where I am now. That I AM in the NOW, as when in that flow the items in the room will morph and move as they AARRRRREEEE~~~ the one organism. As it breathes in and out, things shift and transform.
My mess is not my anxiety!
The mess is my freedom from the past fears and anxious programming.
The freedom that comes from the magnificence of the mess!
I would love to hear your reflection on this post,
Can you relate or are your experiences different?
Have you struggled with control of your environment from a place of lack, fear or anxiety?
What are your experiences and wisdom from it?
Share here or PM me.
Much Love from my luscious messing)))))))))